Your Favorite Band — TRACTORBEAM — is coming to town

“Yo – you watching the Superbowl tonight?”

“Nah dude – I’m going to TractorBeam.”

“WTF is that?”

“DUDE… you don’t know TractorBeam? it’s the Discobiscuits without lyrics.”

“So it’s a Discobiscuits cover band?”

“Yeah if you consider the actual members of the band being in a cover band of themselves – then I guess you could say that.”

This is an actual conversation I had with my brother 2 years ago when he taught me about Tractorbeam.  They play an annual show night of the Superbowl in Colorado – this past year the Eagles won it all.  Coincidence? Hardly…

All of the dumb criticisms people have about the Discobiscuits – they can’t sing, the set breaks are too long, their fans and dirty — none of that applies to Tractorbeam – which is why Tractorbeam is your favorite band that you didn’t know was your favorite band.

It’s the greatest iteration of the Discobiscuits and it’s only done a handful of times a year. Last time it was done was for this past year’s Bonaroo – and the set was so epic that the festival’s organizers cancelled the rest of festival because they knew Tractorbeam couldn’t be topped.

This is some bucket-list type stuff. This is seeing Jerry with the Dead; Phish in a small venue. There’s no other band I can possibly think of where the actual band isn’t as essential as the cover band of itself where it doesn’t sing.

Common beefs about the Discobiscuits:

(1) They can’t sing. Ok you have me here. Barber and Brownie aren’t winning American Idol any time soon. Magner isn’t a bad back up singer in my book. It was always strange to me that the best singer in a band does the least amount of lead singing, but it’s the Biscuits – if there was any band that did things the wrong way and yet found a way to make a lane – it’s the Biscuits.

Well guess what haters? Tractorbeam doesn’t sing. It’s 2 hours of unabated dance. It’s my favorite form of EDM (if you want to call it that). As one who dabbles in EDM, this is the best form. 4 dudes who are totally into EDM, playing it live, in only the way that these guys know how.

(2) The set breaks are too long. Ok…this is true. No one is a bigger abuser of “we’ll be back in 15 minutes” then shows back up on stage 45 minutes later. However, you don’t have to worry here. Tractorbeam sets are 2 hours long (give or take), one set affair, no breaks. Just make sure to pee before they get going, and your water bottle is full. B/c there’s no time for potty breaks here.

(3) The fans smell bad.  Guess what? If you didn’t go to any shows because the fans were terrible, you’d never go see Phish or DMB.  Take solace in the fact that at least you’re not at a Goose show. Plus, it’s Tractorbeam. It’s like the prom of Discobiscuits shows. If the fans were ever going to take a shower before hand, it’s likely this show.

The details are: The Ave Live (formerly club Egypt); 520 N Christopher Columbus Ave (or the Corner of Spring Garden and Delaware Ave for locals); 9:30 PM. Tickets are still on sale (I just got mine yesterday – no clue how this isn’t sold out yet); go to discobiscuits.com – click on the Hamburger – Shows; the ticket link will pop up for tonight’s date.

After the show tonight – there are 2 shows at the Borgata in AC. This tour is the DiscoBiscuits 30th anniversary tour. Somehow, after 30 years, this band is at the top of its game. The new album (released about a year and a half ago) is a rock opera about a group of Aliens who encounter a flat tire (or the alien version of it) in New York City. They are the right amount of sober for a group of guys born in the 70s with families and stuff. The fans have grown up greatly too, so now they have good stories, rather than freaking you out with the fact they might not make it through the evening without a trip to the hospital.

Point is – break out your Sunday’s finest parachute pants. TractorBeam is in town. It’s a once in a lifetime experience. You don’t have to go to some exotic venue in Colorado – or a festival in TN – you just have to get your ass to Spring Garden and Delaware Ave by 930 PM in Philly. Biscuits for Lyfe (B4L),

Man a regret from Bonnaroo for me was sleeping through the Tractorbeam late night set.

I was so beat from the drive that I passed out, deciding to sleep through ICP and wake up for Tractorbeam. But alas, I didn’t wake up until morning.

 

Dude that sucks … they shut it down (literally and figuratively). In all seriousness though, I’m sorry you had to experience Curveball 2.0. Total gut punch.